“Del passato”- 3 minuti di lettura

29 Marzo 2016

Traslochiamo ogni giorno. Ogni mattina un uomo si sveglia e senza saperlo si ritrova un pezzo di vita in un altro luogo. Che sia metaforico o reale non ci è dato saperlo, sappiamo solo che siamo nati per andare, per traslocare, impacchettare le nostre cose e fare posto. Bisogna sempre fare posto, togliere via la polvere ed evitare che si accumuli ancora.



Di punto in bianco prendiamo le nostre cose e le spostiamo altrove, non c’è più posto, non c’è mai troppo posto ed è giusto non calpestare tutti gli spazi, è giusto lasciare angoli inesplorati e sul più bello scoprirli, proprio nell’attimo in cui tutto sembra perdere di senso. Tutto questo non ha senso, quando si parla per metafore si dice tutto senza dire niente, ed è forse questa la magia della scrittura…Possiamo ritrovarci, incontrarci, condividere, sentirci così tanto vicini ed essere invece così tanto distanti. 


Stasera vi propino un nuovo mini racconto: “Del passato…”


Tempo di somministrazione: 3 minuti 

Ero sommersa da scatoloni, continuavo a chiudere con il nastro da pacchi tutto quello che mi capitava tra le mani, imballavo pile di libri, piatti, souvenir. Si chiudeva un capitolo e se ne apriva uno nuovo. Non dormivo da tre giorni. La stanchezza accumulata non mi faceva chiudere occhio. Ogni camera si era trasformata da colorato bazar in asettico spazio bianco. Non riuscivo a non pensare. Traslocare significa decidere, cambiare, confermare. 
Per un attimo della tua vita hai un obbligo: fermarti e riflettere. Pur non volendo sei obbligato a guardare indietro. Ricordi, tracce di passato, spunti di futuro da impacchettare e portare via con te o magari da gettare via e dimenticare per sempre. 
E’ un trauma. Il trasloco è una scocciatura; l’ho sempre visto come una perdita di tempo, un’alienante impacchetta-spacchetta, un’azione-reazione inevitabile. Pensavo ciò fino a quando non mi sono imbattuta in una vecchia scatola rossa, la scatola dimenticata. Da quel momento qualcosa è cambiato. Sono confusa, impaurita, da un lato felice ma dall’altro qualcosa mi disturba. Ho paura di non poter tornare indietro, paura di correre un rischio o forse ho voglia di correre il rischio ed ho solo una paura: farcela. Stavo sistemando cumuli di vecchie lettere, i primi amori, i miei diari segreti, poi ad un tratto mi trovo tra le mani una busta da lettere verde, ancora chiusa. 
Mi bastò il colore per affogare nel passato, era il suo colore preferito, questa è una delle poche cose che sapevo e so di lui. Mi ricordo che Federica, mia compagna di banco al liceo, era spesso in missione detective. Io ne ero follemente innamorata, lui era sempre felicemente fidanzato. Ogni giorno facevo follie pur di farmi notare, ma i miei tentativi sono sempre risultati vani. Lo dimenticai per anni, mi innamorai di Luca e iniziai con lui una lunga storia d’amore. 
Io e Luca dopo anni coronammo quello che inizialmente vedevo come un sogno, la nostra casa. Era bellissima, accogliente e luminosa, era il nostro gioiello da mostrare al mondo e così decidemmo di inaugurarla invitando un po’ di amici. Luca invitò il suo storico gruppo. Lollo, il suo migliore amico, estese l’invito anche a Roberto e Giorgio, due ingegneri tornati in patria, dopo un’esperienza lavorativa in Australia. Giorgio era proprio Giorgio, il mio Giorgio. In realtà non è mai stato mio, ma non nego che è stato strano rincontrarlo a distanza di così tanti anni. Anche in quell’occasione il bel Giorgio non mi degnò di uno sguardo, certo, era stato gentile, ci aveva omaggiato con dei pasticcini deliziosi, ma niente al di fuori di gesti obbligati dal galateo.
In un momento tornai indietro nel tempo, flash davanti ai miei occhi, vecchie polaroid si materializzavano, sensazioni nuove, attimi di gioia evanescenti.
Un lungo viaggio nel passato, senza un inizio, senza una fine, non c’è mai un fine.
<<CRAAAACK>> Dalla mensola, carica di roba vecchia, una vecchia campanella di ceramica scivola e si rompe in mille pezzi. Riprendo in mano il momento, ritorno al presente.
Ero di nuovo in quella fredda casa. Qui ogni ricordo è così pesante che non fa sconti di pene. Torno a sistemare il passato, prendo quella busta da lettere, senza nome, anonima e tremendamente verde e la scaravento nel fondo dello scatolone. Dovevo chiudere con tutto, con la vita di oggi e con quella passata. Era inutile sognare ad occhi aperti, la realtà si era svelata e mi aveva mostrato la sua parte più vera. Una convivenza finita come nessuno avrebbe potuto immaginare, un ex che in fondo era uno sconosciuto, un amore avvelenato da bugie, un presente tanto interrogativo da creare stati di ansia e depressione. Stavo per sigillare tutto per sempre, quando un brivido di euforia mi pervase. 

Ero solita agli sbalzi di umore, ma questa volta era diverso. Ripresi la scatola rossa, infilai una mano nel fondo ed estrassi di nuovo quella busta. La mente aveva bisogno di rivangare, sentivo la voglia di ricordare, quella busta forse apparteneva ad un passato non mio, in 36 anni di vita era la prima volta che vedevo quella busta. Mi tremavano le mani, avevo paura di tutto, ero diventata fragile. Strappai un lembo della busta ed estrassi il biglietto. Il cuore era tornato a battere, i pensieri erano immobili, congelati. La parola speranza di colpo aveva riacquisito il suo significato. Leggevo ad alta voce il biglietto e le parole rimbombavano nel silenzio assordante di quella maledetta casa:

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107 Comments

  • Reply Eniwhere Fashion 29 Marzo 2016 at 9:33 PM

    Ma è un racconto splendido Meggy? Ma lo sai che l'ho letto tre volte di fila? Davvero quella busta conteneva le parole scritte da lui? Guarda che sono una romanticona eh, mi fai fuori con nulla. Pensa, un bigliettino nascosto…
    Un forte abbraccio,
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  • Reply federica spinelli 30 Marzo 2016 at 11:57 AM

    Bellissima storia, bellissime parole e splendidi pensieri, complimenti
    baci
    Federica – Cosa Mi Metto???

  • Reply Eleonora Petrella 30 Marzo 2016 at 3:56 PM

    Splendida questa storia Meggy <3

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  • Reply Elisa Zanetti 30 Marzo 2016 at 5:58 PM

    traslochiamo anche metaforicamente…
    anche quando voltiamo pagina, quando chiudiamo un capitolo della nostra vita

  • Reply the chilicool 30 Marzo 2016 at 6:28 PM

    Che bella questa storia!
    Alessia
    THECHILICOOL

  • Reply Martina 30 Marzo 2016 at 7:09 PM

    Non puoi lasciarmi così.voglio sapere se Giorgio tornerà nella sua vita, se Roberta lo cercherà, se il loro destino era incontrarsi ancora o se era solo un soffio di speranza. Ti prego scrivi ancora, è importante per me.

  • Reply silvia jackson 30 Marzo 2016 at 8:23 PM

    sei molto brava a scrivere, adesso voglio sapere assolutamente se giorgio ritornerà nella sua vita!

  • Reply Flavio 30 Marzo 2016 at 9:38 PM

    Un uomo con le lacrime perde credibilità ma di fronte a questo racconto tutto è concesso. Sono sensibile al tema, mi ha scorticato il cuore ma poi a sorpresa lo hai ricomposto. La speranza mi tiene in piedi Meggy!

  • Reply Paola Lauretano 30 Marzo 2016 at 9:56 PM

    Tu hai davvero talento Meggy, continuerò a ripetertelo… ma tu dovrai continuare a scrivere!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

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    Bellissimo racconto.

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    Bellissimo racconto.

  • Reply Claudia Piccirillo 1 Aprile 2016 at 9:14 AM

    bel post!
    ottima storia

  • Reply Federica Cristiano 1 Aprile 2016 at 10:37 AM

    Ma che brava che sei, è un bellissimo racconto, scritto molto bene, hai talento!! Lo voglio far leggere anche alle mie amiche. Comunque anche io sono curiosa di sapere come va a finire tra Giorgio e Roberta!!! 🙂 Continua a scrivere che sei bravissima!!:) baciii

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